darkfuture_seer

This is my first fanfic and if you're reading, I would like some comments please.
One day I just started writing and well, this is the result. I'm hoping for some help with it. I have no fandom at the moment and I'm not good enough to write an original fic. It's vague enough that almost anything will fit. I'm thinking Harry Potter or something.
I already know what will probably happen but...I wouldn't say no to some advice. If you don't like it, please tell me why and i'll either try to fix it or I'll tell you why. I haven't actually worked on it for awhile so any help is appreciated. It's also extremely short, as in one page or less short. It uses british spelling (i have a strange spellcheck)
So...um I guess that's it and enjoy.


The world exploded with colours.
…Red…blood…fiery pain…
…Darkness…floating in a sea of pain…burning
“Is she alright?” a whisper.
“Call an ambulance she’s not breathing” a shout.
Then silence.
She was falling through fire. Red, orange and screams in the background. She passed out and everything faded out again.
‘Mmm, it’s so nice and warm and...what’s that smell?’
Yawning with a hand to her head, she staggered to her feet and looked around.
“Oh shit”, she breathed.
Red sky, black rocky land as far as the eye could see and… ‘Oh my god…is that real lava?’
Spinning around she was confronted with a vast city carved directly into the side of an enormous volcano.
Screams and a sickly sweet burning smell greeted her when she focused next to the city
A line of things…red, yellow, blue, oh my!...that passed over mountains, volcanoes, finally stopping at the red sea of what looked to be human blood. They seemed to be waiting for something and as she followed the line with her eyes she saw that they were moving, they were extremely slow, yes, but they were walking at a snail's pace toward a throne that was higher than the volcanoes that dotted the landscape.
She glanced around weighing her options, and started walking to the only sign of life there was in Hell.
‘Okay stop playing tricks on yourself’ she thought as she trudged onward ‘This is not Hell, I am not dead, those are not human screams, and the things are not roasting and eating human beings’
‘What?’ she lifted her head and stared at what seemed to be a barbeque, grill and all.
When she saw this she swallowed heavily and changed her course to the large throne.
She walked on and pondered about things like: ‘Why am I still asleep? Isn’t my mom worried? Why is there a line?’
After a few hours? Days? Her mind turned to other things, things like how do you starve if you’re dead.
She had given up on hoping it was a dream. When you can feel yourself getting weaker and weaker every minute…
The only way she could tell she was even walking, was the fact that every once in a while she had to cross a deep still river. She forced herself to drink the brown water...still rivers are the most dangerous, aren't they? ...everytime she crossed one.
A millennia passed and she was still walking, the line was still there, the throne never got closer. She was breathing harder...‘How am I breathing? There’s no air…just smoke' ..., her mind was wandering and somewhere along the line she had lost her shoes and her clothes were in rags.
After all that time, she was stumbling until she finally fell down. She stayed down feeling drowsiness and hunger pangs...those might not be from hunger, the water didn't affect me much.
“So you’re the one” The voice seemed male. “You don’t look like much” He murmured. He crouched down next to her and just looked for a moment. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a hand...red?...reach out and touch the back of her head.


That's it for now, please comment!

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